TV Is Good For Kids

I know I have a TV addiction.  I’m finally okay with it.  I have spent my whole life loving TV, and, because of that, I consider myself somewhat of an expert.  Therefore, you can rest assured that the following advice is legit.

Most moms use TV to get a break or just to be able to load the dishwasher.  Lots of moms have great systems set up so that TV use is limited and monitored because they fear TV.  They don’t want mushy-brained slobs or aggressive jerks.  I’m here to squash your fears though.  Kids need to watch TV.  Not, it’s okay to let them watch–they need to watch.

Without it, they would never know how food is prepared in an average kitchen.  You know, from scratch and what-not.  How those stove thingys and mixer contraptions work.  My sons love their play kitchen!  Especially the microwave.  They use the oven for storage.  Their only hope for any real food prep knowledge is TV.  Thank God for the Food Network.

Why yes, I would love a bread sandwich. Do you have any ketchup?

Also, farms.  We don’t know any farmers nor have we ever seen a real, working farm, but my son Alex really wants to be a farmer when he grows up.  And clearly we need more TV for that to happen because he saw a McDonald’s sign in a field and declared it to be a nugget farm.

If you’ve ever seen Yo Gabba Gabba!, this paragraph is for you.  (If you haven’t or you do not know sarcasm when you read it, just skip this one.)  That show makes me want to smash the TV.  And when a show makes me want to kill my best friend, it’s all wrong.  But!  Think of how calm your children will be if anyone ever slips them some acid.  They’ll be all, “Wow!  I’ve totally seen these colors and heard these weird songs before!  Oh, my happy childhood!”

There are literally 100’s of educational resources on TV.  Think of a need your family has, and there is a TV show or even a whole network there to help you out.  And, seriously?  The chance to show how NOT to behave is even easier.  Just show them any show that I have on my DVR.  (Have I mentioned how awesome reality TV is?  It changed my whole life.)

So, my fellow moms or even my worried onlookers who are dying to judge and offer advice, just relax.  TV will not harm kids.  It will only make up for your short-comings (cooking, for me), fill in gaps your environment has (farms), or prepare them for real life (accidental drug use).  Go ahead, gather the family and watch a little TV together.  It will make you better people.

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