Identity Crisis

As a woman (me) heads to a certain age (nonya business), she has to ask herself the eternal question. Who am I? Hottie or frumpy book lady? Stay-at-home-mom with extreme give-up or cosmopolitan preppy?

It’s a clothes thing.

I’ve had many looks over my medium-length life. From the family-famous ‘Brat’ t-shirt days to the middle school all-black phase. When I was in my early teens, I pored over the fall issue of Seventeen magazine. I used it as my style guide and boldly paired orange and black plaid pants with a striped sweater of many colors. (Yes, that happened.) I’ve gone from wearing Gunne Sax on Easter (Oh the joy of going to the outlet in San Francisco with my mom!) to trying to sneak jeans into church.

I always loved how Gunne Sax dresses looked like ballet costumes. Image courtesy Illeryana from

Now that I’m a grown-up you’d think that I’d have settled on some style. Instead, my closet contains plain t-shirts for the SAHM in me, outfits for date-nights at the local dance club (I know, it’s not going to happen. I did not marry that guy. I married a great guy, but he doesn’t dance.), and sweater sets for teaching and/or looking prim.

Every time I shop, I tell myself I will only buy the fabulous clothes I’ve bookmarked from Red magazine. I will not buy clothes that are ‘just for being in the house’ because those always end up being worn in public anyway. I will buy clothes that show off my figure instead of clothes that will instantly identify me as a mother. Then I end up buying all of those things and more. For God’s sake I bought a khaki shirt-dress that is an odd length that makes me feel like my butt is covered but too much front leg is showing. My skin is too pale for it, and my beige underwear is never clean when I want to wear it! Anyway……

I like this outfit. Casual, comfy, but pulled together. Unfortunately, this is the only this I have. Also, I don’t think that lady behind me likes it. Sad face.

What I’m saying is, I need help. I need a personal shopper. Who works for compliments. Know anyone?


7 thoughts on “Identity Crisis

  1. I don’t even pretend I have a sense of style. I’m a jeans and T-shirt person. The minute I put on anything that doesn’t look like I picked it up at Good Will I get glue or varnish on it, so I’m beyond help.

  2. I can so relate to all of this! And that picture is awesome. First, because the outfit is great. (I also feel like I have one or two, or maybe 1.5 outfits I love that really work) But also, because the (poorly dressed and weirdly coiffed) woman’s expression is priceless.

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