Texas Multi Mamas Epsiode 4: “Hooters and Husbands”

Oh my.  I just think that should have been added to the title.  Because, well, oh my.

I have put off writing this recap because it makes me tense.  These ladies are telling some truth, and I feel for them having it on TV and not coming out looking that great.  I’ve always wanted to star in my own show, but episodes like this remind me that every third episode would be me explaining my previous sarcasm and my habit of talking without thinking because I just want the quick laugh.  Not to mention my bad parenting days.  Oh Lordy.

Let’s start with a parenting issue that isn’t tense  Suz and Casey have a play date at Casey’s.  In case you forgot how many kids would be involved in such an event, the number is 8.  EIGHT small children and only 2 moms and no wine.  The mind boggles.  Anyway, we see here that Casey struggles with not being able to leave her kids in someone else’s care.  Suz is worried that this is tough on Casey and wants her to let go a bit for her own sake and for the kids who will have to leave her to go to school at some point.  So Suz offers to watch all 8 kids by herself for a couple of hours.  Holy Best Friend Batman!  That is so awesome.  She handles it like a rock star, and Casey seems happy to have done it.

When Casey talks about losing one of her embryos (there were five to start) and birthing such small babies, you feel for her and know why she’s so protective.  I remember being told to keep my twins home during flu season when they were born, and I followed the instructions to the letter.  It makes you think you’re the only one who can keep them safe.

Casey's babies showing you the cute. Photo courtesy wetv.com

I can’t avoid it any longer; we must talk about the drama.  The first dramathon revolves around Tonia and her post-divorce love life.  She and Candace hit the town for some manhunting.  No wait, it’s not that.  But it is.  But it isn’t.  One thing is for certain is that Tonia wears a hot dress with cut outs and dances provocatively.  No man is snared however.

Which brings us to a girls’ night out chat that goes very wrong.  Tonia tells the ladies she has a date.  (Please note who initiates that topic.)  The ladies then pepper her with questions about whether or not she likes dating and what she’s looking to get out of it.  Tonia gets a pained look on her face, and Candace uses her best friend ESP to jump in and answer for her.  The other ladies aren’t having it.  Questions continue.  Tonia is silent.  Candace is not.

It was weird that Tonia wouldn’t answer the girls.  She didn’t even say, “I don’t want to talk about it.”  She did say her wounds were still fresh and that she’ll just have to see what happens.  Candace thought the whole thing was bullying and that Stephanie and Casey especially should not have asked questions because they are only acquaintances.  I think the ladies were trying to help, and it could have ended sooner if Tonia, a grown woman, would have ended it.

Later, Candace and Tonia are the aggressive ones.  They are out eating with Suz and Casey and the topic of how you me your spouse came up.  Again, Tonia brings up marriage/romance.  Tonia who wants to keep hers private.

Anyway, Casey is embarrassed and doesn’t want to answer.  Her face clearly says it as does her mouth.  But, the girls press on.  It turns out she met Robbie while she was working at Hooters.  She’s pissed because she did not want this on TV for her kids to see before she could talk to them about it.  She also feels like Candace and Tonia knew the answer and were just playing dumb to make her say it.

I don’t think it’s embarrassing, but I can see Casey’s point.  Lots of people have opinions on Hooters, and lots of those opinions aren’t nice.  Candace says, “That’s her history.”  Right.  So SHE gets to tell it when she wants.  Just like Tonia is in charge of what she says.  See how that played out?

Casey and Robbie, a match made in....none ya' business! Picture courtesy @caseygerwer

Here’s what I see.  Candace is very protective of Tonia.  When Candace sees Tonia in trouble, she helps.  That’s her job as best friend.  End of story.  The other ladies think they are helping Tonia talk out her thoughts.  I know we do that in my Mothers of Multiples group a lot.  Me especially.  I have no filter on my private conundrums because I know my ladies have been through the same or are at least there to listen.  It’s a trust issue, and it seems it just isn’t there for Tonia yet.

As for what happened to Casey, it felt just as mean as Candace and Tonia thought the dating questions were in the sense that Casey didn’t want to talk about it.

If you haven’t watched the episode yet, you can watch it today, Sunday, January 8 as WEtv is running a marathon starting at 11am.  Please be on the look-out for Candace and Steve hitting the dance floor with all my high school moves.  Also enjoy Steve’s fashion show as a tension breaker.

Let’s hit the comments and discuss.  Have you read the cast blogs yet?  I’m going to now.  I didn’t want them to change my review of the episode, but I’m sure the ladies add some more thoughts.  I’m enjoying following them on Twitter and reading their ‘real’ lives that some think they don’t have.  They do.  That’s why we watch.

Also, you can catch my review of Episodes One, Two, and Three if you are so inclined.


Texas Multi Mamas Episode 2: “Weekend in Paris”


Get it? A review about a show from Texas?


I finally got to see the second episode of Texas Multi Mamas.  If you missed my review of episode one or just don’t know what I’m talking about, you could check out my first review. There are also links to the episodes online in case you’d like to watch.

I am on a cattiness and ‘all-dolled-up mommies who go out too much’ watch.  I enjoy reading the feedback about my blog and the show, but anyone who was turned off by it seemed to complain about those two things.  Two things I really didn’t see much of on the first episode.  I also read some complaints about the commercials  making the show look like it was trying to compete with trashy shows (which I love) like the Real Housewives.  While that may be true, I think that’s just what they thought they had to do to get viewers.  Duh.

The second episode began with the ladies having some spa time.  It was the first gathering after Stephanie attempted to quell any drama created by her Candace feud.  It was a bit tense but not at all like those crazy Beverly Hills mommas do it.  As happens with moms, the ladies began talking about leaving the kids with the husbands.  I’m so glad none of them said the fathers of their children were ‘babysitting’ them.  Just no.  Let’s add that kind of talk to our list of no-no’s, shall we?

Not all dad's would do this. By the way, I'd be fine with this if I got out of one grocery shopping trip. Photo courtesy failblog.org

Stephanie noted that during this husband talk Tonia, currently divorced, was quiet and withdrawn.  That must be so very hard.  The married friends have a right and like to talk about married life, but it is also important to know the crowd you are with and be kind to them.  Tonia broke my heart when she said, “I never wanted to be divorced.”  However, after Stephanie tried to include her, she said in an interview, “Stephanie doesn’t know me or know how I feel.” Nice.  Stephanie has been divorced too.  Also?  If you want her to know how you feel?  Tell her.  She’s opened the door to that conversation.

I’m just going to casually mention the discussion at spa day about Stephanie getting new boobs.  Listen, this happens a lot in Texas and for Mothers of Multiples.  I could have done without her giving the, “Everything’s Bigger in Texas!” line.  That’s true; even our politicians are bigger a**es than any other state’s.  (I’m looking at you Rick Perry.)

In more Candace and Stephanie news, they arranged the show made them have a play date at Candace’s house.  Steph went in with a semi-open mind, which is all I think we can ask of her.  Of note during this scene was the women’s apparel, pants and t-shirts.  Normal, non-fancy-pants stuff.  Steph gets annoyed by Candace being a topper.  (That friend who tells a story about the topic you just told but bigger and better.)  Steph also was annoyed that Candace cared when Stephanie’s kid got hit in the face by a foot.  How dare she?!?!

Little Miss Sunshine Stephanie got to tell the ladies about her upcoming in-laws visit over drinks.  She also got to poo poo Candace’s advice to just kill her mother-in-law with kindness.  Not bad advice for a woman who has kindness in her…..you know like…well, not Stephanie I guess.  Stephanie on the other hand said, “That was a really pretty answer honey.”  Methinks she is treating Candace like her mother-in-law is treating her.  No matter what she does, it’s wrong.

Thankfully, we were treated to a World Wildlife Fund commercial about how we’re slaughtering tigers left and right to move away from anything uncomfortable……(Another commercial break at some point was the one with the family trying to mail away the creepy clown.  Makes me jump every time.  Stupid clown.)

Photo courtesy Satan.

Teryn, you are a brave girl!  Not just for doing what it takes to feel good about yourself but for letting the world see your consultation and your well-earned mommy pouch.  Let me just tell you that mine looks like that, and I only have twins.

Teryn’s tummy tuck procedure brought us her first story and a closer look at her husband, Ryan.  They were both worried about each other.  I laughed when Ryan asked if her ‘knockers’ were going to be pulled down too far.  A very legitimate husband concern.  Teryn cried to think of the worry an elective surgery was putting on her parents.  Her dad’s face looked just like my dad’s when I was last in the hospital.  Tough for a daddy’s girl to see.  Ryan was very choked up as they wheeled her in for surgery, and he told us how he couldn’t live without her.  Good stuff and very sincere.  Teryn makes it through and begins her recovery.  Ryan heads up the household and cleans her drain tubes.  It is a sweaty position he is now in, and he’s ready to be done.

Meanwhile, we see Stephanie and husband Jerald packing and then heading to Paris, Texas.  (Hence the episode’s title.)  Again, please know that not all Texans pack six guns for a family visit, though it’s something some of us should probably consider.  I thought it was cute when Jerald told Steph that he loved her under the fake Eiffel Tower (complete with red cowboy hat of ridiculousness).  It was also sweet later in the show when they took some time together to shoot those guns, and it turned into a date with each person saying the other was hot while armed.  However, Stephanie being Stephanie, she got pretty pissed off later when everyone ordered dinner while she was in the restroom and took it out on Jerald by calling him fat for shoving a school of fried fish in his face.

We had two chances to see how the couples get alone time while still being good parents.  Candace and Steve got a date night thanks to Candace’s mother being able to watch the kids, while Casey and Robbie begged the children to go to sleep and ate dinner  and hit the hot tub after.  Steve gave Candace a framed poem and pretty necklace, while Robbie sprayed whipped cream on Casey in a funny way.  I loved how they turned strawberries and whipped cream silly.  Both couples seemed happy and in sync.  I’m sure they have to work at it, but it seems important to stay a good couple to survive multiples.

Casey, Robbie, and quads of cuteness. Congrats mom and Dad, you did not embarrass your kids in the hot tub scene. Photo courtesy WEtv.com

Casey seems like me.  She’s a bit anxious and thinks controlling things will calm her.  Her husband keeps her looking at the lighter side as mine does.  Her monitor addiction is hilarious.  Casey, momma, you are not alone.

We get a short glimpse of Tonia lamenting that the guy from the first episode tried to ask her out again via text.  Sorry dude, Steve already warned Tonia about you.  You’re done.  Also, Tonia can’t stop saying the ‘r’ word.  Please, get her some help.

We also got to see Suz break it to her little Savi that she was about to have the 6th surgery of her short life.  Gut-wrenching.  Suz explains how this is the hardest part of being a parent, and I feel for her.  Savi says, “Surgery agian? But I don’t wanna have surgery!”  I am so proud of Suz for not losing it at that.  Too much.  This story will complete on the next episode, and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to see them wheel that little girl in for surgery.

And with that we wait until next Tuesday for more episodes.  What did you think?  Are these moms going out too much?  Too dressed up?  I don’t think so, but I’m a Texan; maybe I’m biased.  Did I leave anything out? (Ha! That’s funny.  I’m never telling stories that are too short.)  I’d love comments, especially from Moms of Multiples.  A special thanks to all who shared my link to the last review.  I loved getting so many readers!

My Take On Texas Multi Mamas

You know what I need? Another reality TV show!  And one that I could have been in no less.

The show in question is called Texas Multi Mamas, and it centers on 6 Dallas-area moms who are all friends and are all Mothers of Multiples.  (Why did I capitalize that?  Because they carried more than one baby in their uteri.  Try it some time.  It’s no walk in the park.)  It airs on WE tv on Tuesdays at 8 and 9c.  If you missed the first 2 episodes, you can watch them here.

First, let’s meet the ladies.  They are all very thin and none seem to be medicated which is a bit different from my experience.  Maybe they just don’t eat fast food for lunch as much as they can and don’t blab all over the internet about their mental health.  Weird.

Candace–42, Mom to 4 year-old triplets, married to Steve, describes herself as wanting to be the cool mom and be who she was before she had kids (Hmmm, sounds like trouble but you never know!  Maybe she can do it.)

Stephanie–26, Mom to 2 year-old twins and a son from a previous marriage, married to Jerald, she already has tension with Candace and thereby the rest of the group

Teryn–35, Mom to 3 year-old triplets and an older daughter, married to Ryan, not seen much in this episode though I loved it when she used her foot to keep a triplet from escaping the store they were in

Casey–30, Mom to 4 year-old quads (That’s 4 kids you guys!), married to Robbie, honest about being overwhelmed every day but seems to do great, says she likes control but isn’t a control freak

Suzi–Mom to quads, married to Joe, close friends with Casey, decides to laugh at her chaos instead of get stressed by it, soft-spoken but not meek

Tonia–33, Mom to 4 year-old twins, divorced, very close friends with Candace, runs a professional organizing company

Oh my! The cute! It hurts! Photo courtesy of WeTV.

Now, let’s get on to Episode 1, “Mama Drama” which tried to play up the tension between Stephanie and Candace.  They’ve had words.  And mean texts.  Mostly from Stephanie and containing foul language and general abrasiveness.  And now all the other ladies are afraid that Stephanie is willing to ‘throw anyone under the bus’ to get what she wants.  (For the love of the beautiful English language can we be done with that phrase?  Pretty please?)  When Suz ( I can call her that because I know friends of her friends.) has lunch with Stephanie and tells her this, Steph gets very upset.  She honestly is sad that the other moms have bad feelings about her.  Suzi handled it so well and was very gracious with the way she brought it up.  It was not done with the intent to make things more tense or dramatic.  I really like her and could learn a thing or two about diplomacy from her.

We see a lot of Stephanie, Candace, and Tonia in this episode with some great interviews with Casey and Suz.

For Stephanie, we see her on a date with her husband talking about their daughters’ birthday party and his mother.  Unfortunately, Stephanie and her mother-in-law do not see eye to eye.  Jerald has chosen to pretend nothing is wrong for fear of both women getting stabby.  At the actual birthday party, the two women don’t talk much, and the mother-in-law pulls a classic evil move.  She asks for a picture of her family and leaves out Stephanie and her older son.  Very classy.  Steph complains about it, but is generally not too dramatic.   I really liked how Stephanie and Jerald had fun and were happy for their girls having fun.  The party was nice and normal and just very real.

We see Candace offering to help Tonia in the man department by setting up a meeting with a matchmaker, though none of the other ladies thinks this is a great idea.  Thankfully, the matchmaker is a pretty nice, even-keeled lady unlike that wacko on Bravo.  Tonia is pretty neurotic (I’ve seen her in person) but is obviously very smart and driven.  However, she lost me totally when she said she was ‘retarded’ about dating.  Woman, we do not use that word that way!  Not cool.

While waiting for the matchmaker to perform a miracle, Tonia goes on a date set up by another friend.  She tells us that she’s got a weird thing about nice teeth.  Then she says some things about blah, blah, blah, personality, nice to me, but mostly the teeth need to be nice.  The date is not too awkward, and they seem to be having fun.  Until Tonia tells him he has to meet her friend Candace for inspection.  Good-bye confidence!

After the date, Tonia goes to Candace’s for a play date.  That play date looked nice.  Candace’s husband played with the kids while they dished about the date.  (He also offered some great advice about a man who asks you for a date via text message.  He warned that you need to be prepared to be broken up with via text by a guy like that.)  My play dates with other Moms of Multiples are more ‘active’.  Shelly and I used to meet at the mall play place (germ town), and the conversations were like this, “Do you have Gavin?” “No.  Have you seen Alex? I think he may be bleeding…If it’s not him, it’s the other one.”  Then we corral them in the food court and play the my-kids-have-a-new-bad-habit game.  It’s informative, and nobody wins.

For the high point, all the ladies meet at a place called Zephyr’s for drinks on the patio (I’m so jealous.) and some interaction between our feuding ladies Stephanie and Candace.  Stephanie explains to the whole group that she never said anything about throwing anyone under the bus because she knows that phrase is stupid.  No, she says that they should always come to her in the future if they have any questions about her or what she feels.  Stephanie does not talk directly to Candace, the person she knows is responsible for the comment, but instead just makes a calm statment.  Candace stays silent which means no big fights or cattyness.

I liked the show and the ladies.  Stephanie is a little tightly wound but harmless.  I’m bummed we didn’t see more of their day-to-day life with the kids because it’s nice to see how someone else handles it.  The kids are older but still hard to handle!  Trust me, I know this.  If you go to the web site and look at their pictures, there are some parenting tips from them there.  Not embarrassed by them as a mom, a woman or a Texan.  They seem normal which may doom the show.

What do you think?  Do you want me to continue reviewing the show?  Who did you like?  What would you like to see?  If you have any observations or questions or answers, please make them in the comments!  After this, see my review of episode 2.

Life Lessons Out the Wazzoo

I have a lot of time with myself here in Poland.  That means the voices in my head are free to jibber-jabber all the livelong day.  Sometimes, they tell me that all the people here are staring at me in a mean way.  Sometimes, they tell me that my kids are plotting to drive me insane.  Sometimes, they say good stuff.

The boys and I ventured out on their first scooter ride, and the voices were on fire with good stuff.  Here are some things they taught me.

Lesson 1: Just go for it!  I was very worried to have the boys on these bumpy sidewalks and hills on wheeled vehicles with no brakes.  My kids are a bit accident-prone.  Alex has already broken his arm.  Also, I’m kind of a spaz and fall/bump into things/hurt myself mopping the floors all the time.  So, you know, genes are not so good in that area.

In spite of being anxious, I took them anyway.  And, lo and behold, no one broke anything!  Also, they rocked the safety gear like models.

Locked and loaded ladies!

Lesson 2: Exercise really does lift your spirits and make you not so yelly.   I came home in such a great mood.  I wanted to write blogs, watch TV, and read!  All at once!  While tap dancing!

Lesson 3: My kids are pretty easily amused.  Actual quotes that show their happiness:

“I didn’t even get hurt!” (See, we do fall a lot around here.)

“I’m so excited!  They built two paths!”

“Monkey bars Mommy! MONKEY BARS!”

Have you EVER seen 2 paths?!?!?

Left the scooter safety gear on for good measure

Continue reading

Mindblowing Stuff

Please don’t worry.  I’m not on drugs.  (Well, not on any new ones.)  But, dude, my mind is constantly being blown these days.

My twin boys will be four in November.  So, this means I am nearing the end of the freak-out 3’s.  No one told you about those?  You thought 2 was awful?  Ha!  Ha I say unto thee!

Three will make you insane.  The drama here is incredible.  And the kids are a bit over-the-top as well.  The yelling, dear God, so much yelling.  They fall apart when I do everything anything wrong.


(Wait five seconds.)


Alex is obsessed with only using a clean toilet.  Listen kid, in this house, if you want to use the facilities, you are gonna see some dirt.  If you don’t like it, feel free to pee in your pants.  Oh, you already did?  Yes, I would love to change your underwear 15 times a day due to miniscule and/or imaginary wet spots.

Jack refuses to let anyone touch his stuff.  He’s a twin, and we are mean parents, so, technically not too many toys are actually his.  That does not stop him from collecting all the best Matchbox cars.  (I try to tell Alex that the ones that are left are cool, but we both know that’s not true.)  When Jack’s possessions are threatened, he loses his shit.  Screaming.  Veins popping.  Talking like a dolphin.  You want to give in so he’ll not explode into bits of kid all over the living room.  But you know that’s wrong, so you carry him to the other room to ‘calm down’.  Then he sobs like you ran over his lovies with a Mack truck.  You start feeling sorry for him until you remember he’s a car tyrant.  It’s so insane it will make you switch point of view mid-paragraph! (Only funny to teachers and other nerds.)

When we were in Berlin a couple of weekends ago, we tried to be realistic about sight-seeing with small children.  We tried to do things they would like.  We ruled out the Holocaust museum.  At one point, we decided to do ONE thing I wanted to do.  I was desperate to visit this department store called KaDeWe.  Rumor has it they sell American food.  I was hoping for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Dr. Pepper.  I actually passed right by the peanut butter cups…..while dragging a screaming Alex toward the bathroom where I demanded he poop right now!!!!!  I was not going to watch the poo dance any longer!!!!   Needless to say that was not really the motivation he needed, and we left the store.  It was awful.  I’m not exaggerating.  Jack cried because we had a chocolate bar MADE FOR HIM with ingredients he picked.  We actually left Berlin a day early because the boys were so enraged by random things that we needed the comfort of home to deal.

Jack stubbornly stands in East AND West Berlin.

Now, here’s where my mind gets blown.  At the same time the boys make my eye bleed from high blood pressure (true story), they make me smile and laugh and cry with joy.

Listening to them play (the five minutes they let me do something or are not beating the crap out of each other) is pure entertainment.  They are making up great stories and pretending to be and do things that only little boys can dream.

Jack has the most hilarious laugh, and Alex is the person he laughs at most.  They tell the lamest knock-knock jokes and keel over in hysterics.  Sometimes it’s like they are the only 2 people in the world.  They are so in-tune and happy with each other.  Jack tells Alex that things will be okay.  Alex tells Jack that he can totally go potty if he tries!  I truly believe I am witnessing the birth of life-long closeness.

I have always loved their hands, and now I look at them and see them turning into the hands of big boys.  Hands that will write words and complete math problems.  Hands that still love to caress my arms when I read them stories on the bed.  So damn soft and gentle.

They have the best smiles now.  I love a truly genuine smile of happiness or understanding.  They smile when they know I’m laughing at them.  They like making me happy.  I really do get tears in my eyes when I look at them.  They are so beautiful.  Their faces have so many expressions now.  I want to remember them all.  I want to memorize their voices and funny sayings.  I try to mentally record all of it.

I love my sweet boys.

Clearly, this stage of life for my kids and me is a wild ride.  A ride I’d pay for a thousand times no matter how much it makes me puke.